Expat Mom is a Canadian-born wife and mother raising her two boys, five and almost four years old, in Guatemala. Even before the boys were born she knew she didn’t want them to be as helpless as Earl in the cartoon. Instead she says:
…I wrote down a list of things I wanted my kids to know by the age of 16. I figured at that age, they should be pretty much independent and able to care for themselves, should anything happen to us. The list included skills like swimming, driving, doing laundry and cooking.
She’s already been teaching them to cook, but she was still surprised when she and her husband recently came back from a trip to get groceries. While they were gone the boys had cooked themselves some oatmeal to eat. Their aunt, who was watching them, had turned on the stove and made sure they didn’t hurt themselves. That was the only help the boys needed. The adults were amazed and proud, and as she was leaving the aunt said,
Your kids don’t need anyone to look after them! They can navigate the internet, clean up their own messes and even cook for themselves.
It just goes to show you don’t have to be a Tiger Mom to raise competent children. I hope you enjoy the post as much as I did.
There’s no list. The children learn everything they need to know by living in a family. It happens.
I should add that when you have a big family, everyone has to pitch in. They do every job imaginable.
BHB,
I agree. The important thing is to do a lot of different things as a family.
By the time I was born, I was the only home on a regular basis – the rest except the next one in the pack were gone with own life, the next one was at boarding school so only home for holidays.
I didn’t have siblings to show me the ropes
I had terrible disabilities which were ‘right’ in your face and I wasn’t not allowed to even cut anything with something sharp for fear I would misjudge and do myself harm.
I didn’t really know much about turning on the stove, ironing clothes or anything of those other Mom/Mum things.
I did know how to play cribbage and 500 though (cards with Dad)
I learnt about cooking when I was just 17 when I went to stay overseas with the ‘next’ sibling…I probably knew how to switch on a vacuum and fold clothes but not much else 🙁
I’m ok at all those chores now but I don’t particularily ever want to do them!!
I am reading a fascinating book now, which you might find, shall we say, amusing and interesting. Spousonomics. (http://www.spousonomics.com/) The application of principles of economics to marriage and home making. While it does not talk much about children’s upbringing, the division of labour aspects of raising them is certainly part of the spiel.
I have discussed this elsewhere with you and so, shall refrain from repeating my take. In any case, despite living with me, my one and only child is forty years old!
Cathy,
I agree with you, for the most part doing housework is not the best use of my time. For instance, I wear clothes that don’t need ironing. What a blessing that is! In the fullness of time you clearly learned what you needed to know.
rummuser,
When Kaitlin was little Andy kept saying, “Children grow up in spite of their parents.” Your son and my daughter are clearly proof of that!